Him/Her

Full disclosure upfront - I am an incredibly impatient person! I talk fast, I work fast, I like an immediate response. I could never fall asleep as a kid on Christmas Eve and when a birthday present came in the mail I opened it right away, even if my birthday was a week away. All that said, not knowing the sex of my baby is starting to drive me crazy! First of all I am getting tired of saying "the Baby" or "it". My nephew started using the term "Him/Her" and I think it's adorable - but it's a mouthful. I have found myself saying "her" and "she" just to use a pronoun. So now I am starting to envision a girly future - but what if it's a boy?! I truly would be happy either way I just want to know which path I am on. We have a doctor's appointment on Friday and if the little one cooperates hopefully we'll have answer. I really admire women who can wait til the delivery to find out, but I can barely hold on until the end of the week. Did you find out the sex of your baby? How did knowing or not knowing change your pregnancy?

Not much else to report this week. Sleeping is starting to become a little tricky. I am having crazy dreams and apparently I am starting to talk in my sleep (that could get very interesting!) I wake up a lot in the middle of the night and it's hard to get/stay comfortable. Husband scored major points when he came home with the Snoogle! It's really helped me - and I bet it's helped him get a better night's sleep, too! Speaking of my darling Husband, I can not express how amazing he has been! He's always been a pretty laid back guy, but in the last few weeks he's mastered the art of being cool, calm and collected. I have had some crazy mood swings and there are times when I can barely stand to be around myself, but he takes it all in stride. I say it all the time, but I can't say it enough - I feel so lucky to have his love, friendship and support. I love my partner in crime! :)

'Tis The Season

Another week down and another week closer to Baby New Year’s arrival! I must admit ever since I got the news that my due date was January 1st I have been wondering how he/she would feel about having his/her birthday on a holiday. I should also share that I'm a December baby and may be a little sensitive since my birthday falls so close to Christmas. I love celebrating my birthday – and not just for the presents! I really do love having that fun day to spend with friends & family and I've had some fantastic parties and lots of great memories. But I am little jealous of people whose birthday falls on a random day in the spring or summer away from a major holiday. I will be thrilled to welcome my little bundle of joy on what ever day he/she decides to join us, but am I wrong for wanting him/her to have their own special day?

I have been talking to some friends that have birthdays on or close to New Years and the good news is they seem to like it (or they were kind enough to lie to me! ;) They shared such positive details as they were always out of school as a kid or got the day off from work as an adult. They often got cash as a birthday present because people were tired from shopping – and cash is always cool to a kid or adult. And parents are quick to remind me if Baby does make its debut on or before December 31st that Husband and I will get a tax break for 2009. All good stuff!

So am I the only one who thinks about these kinds of things? Did anyone else strategically plan the time of year they would deliver based on a holiday or any other hang ups? Do holidays ever affect you or your kid's birthday plans? Do you have any advice or stories to share with this Mommy-to-be?

Thanks!
Nikki D

My New Dress

It’s week 14 in the year of living pregnantly. The number one question I received so far is definitely “How are you feeling?” Sounds simple and benign but for me it’s a bit of a loaded question. I should state for the record that Baby New Year and I have had excellent check-ups so far and we both are in great health. Most of the time people are just asking in a very superficial, polite way so I give them the appropriate "fine" or “ok” which is not entirely a lie. Half of the time I really do feel ok. But the other half of the time I feel completely out of sorts – dazed & tired, nauseous, cranky and battling the worst heartburn I’ve ever experienced in my life. It’s like someone else has taken over my body – oh yeah, a little somebody has! ;)

I’ve also learned that sometimes when a woman asks “How are you feeling?” it’s really just a segue for her to tell you all about her pregnancy. Some women rave about how wonderful they felt over those 40 weeks and tell tales of shiny hair, glowing skin, radiant energy, and how much they loved being pregnant. Then other women launch into a horror story of hemorrhoids, acid reflux, sleepless nights, painful sinus pressure and mood swings that would scare Hannibal Lector. I’ve been feeling a little lost because I don’t completely identify with either Suzie Sunshine or Miserable Mary. I also think that both types of women have selectively blocked out portions of their pregnancy, but that’s another story.

So when someone asks me “How are you feeling?” it really gives me pause because I am still trying to get a handle on how I feel. Then I got two pieces of great advice which helped me put things into perspective. First my friend Cat, (a fabulous mother of three who writes a brilliant blog) told me that “Pregnancy is a condition, it's NOT all sunshine, roses and glow." That statement reminded me that this time is not only about "feeling" happy, thankful, and excited about the baby, it’s also about “feeling” all of the physical changes that are happening to my body. It sounds so obvious, but when you are in the midst of it you can easily feel lost and frustrated. I’m newly pregnant and I want to be celebrating this life growing inside of me - not trying to figure out why there’s a volcano erupting in my chest! But instead of denying or fighting these changes I am now trying to accept them as part of this miraculous transformation.

The other words of wisdom came from my doctor who described pregnancy as "... a dress that every woman wears differently”. I guess I really needed a fashion analogy to drive the point home! Every women has the perfect little black dress that hides all our flaws and accents all of our assets. But my perfect little black dress may look hideous on you and your favorite dress could be a disaster for me. There is no “one” perfect dress for all women and there’s no one way to experience pregnancy. The rational side of me knew that, but emotional side was still trying fit into the pregnancy dress I thought I should be wearing instead of trying to find the dress that fits me. So I’ve decided to go shopping for a new dress! It may not be the dress I always imagined, and some days I may have to accessorize it, but when I wear it I can answer that popular question honestly by saying “I feel good!"